As parents and teachers, we want our children to shine. We get excited about their achievements, have pride in their accomplishments, and look for ways to encourage them.
But what if that praise backfires? Can we praise a child too much? How do we effectively give our children praise and critique that helps?
As our staff continues to work through The Growth Mindset Coach, we have been challenged by the concept of praise and feedback. Most praise falls into two categories: “person” praise vs. “process” praise.
“Person” praise focuses on qualities like intelligence and goodness. Statements like, “You are so smart!” and “You are such a good boy!” are examples. What is interesting to note is that these statements send the message that success is based on some inherent quality and not on the effort a child puts forth for a given task.
In contrast, “process” praise focuses on effort—or as the authors put it, “strategies or actions that contributed to the success of a task.” (Brock and Hundley, p.119) For example, instead of telling a child they are so smart, one might say, “I like how you used different strategies to figure out those problems.” Instead of calling a child “a good boy,” one might offer, “I appreciate that you cleaned up your work area without being asked.”
Current research suggests that the wrong kind of praise might affect the effort students put into their work. In one example, a New York based study of 400 fifth- graders conducted by Carol Dweck led to her observation: “When students were praised for being smart, they wanted to hang on to that praise; they became less likely to take on risks and challenges so as not to jeopardize the ‘smart’ label that had been bestowed on them. In essence, students moved into their fixed mindsets for self-preservation—to avoid making mistakes and possibly contradicting the initial assessment of their intelligence. Conversely, students praised for their effort had no such insecurities.” (119)
So how can we as parents and teachers adjust our feedback? Many of us need specific ideas. Below are some “process” oriented ideas the authors suggest to praise and critique a child (with a couple of adaptations):
| Person Oriented Praise or Critique | Process Oriented Praise or Critique |
| I don’t understand long division. | You don’t understand long division, yet! |
| Zach is so much smarter than me | Zach did well on this test. You should ask him how he studied. |
| This is too hard for me. | Hard is good! It means you’re learning and growing your brain. |
| You’re awesome! | You’re putting awesome effort in on this fractions assignment. |
| Good work! | Good work writing a detailed essay. |
| Well done! | Well done on your dance recital. I can see that you’ve practiced a lot. |
| I stink at this. | This didn’t seem to work out for you. How could you approach this problem differently? |
| Maybe piano (or math or writing…) just isn’t your thing. | Keep practicing. Every day you get closer to mastering this. |
| You’re such a naughty boy. | You made a bad choice. What will you differently in the future? |
Some other feedback ideas….
I noticed how….
Look at how much progress you’ve made on…
I see a difference in this work compared with…
I admire how hard you have worked on…
I can see you really enjoyed learning…
Could it make a difference if you…
Have you considered trying a different strategy…
You’re on the right track here, and might consider…
Can you share with me how you approached this…
One awesome thing about your work is…
I really like the way you…
One thing that helps me is….
This could improve if…
My favorite part of this was…
Let’s reflect on how we are doing and take some time to evaluate the kind of praise we offer our children and how we might encourage more of a growth mindset in our feedback.
- Judy Kemp